But now…now you’re just using the default Zoom background template.

You were the virtual office clown, the one who not-so-secretly made every call about you, you were a god amongst meer virtual mortals.

Mondays you were in the Simpsons living room, Tuesdays you were in the red room from Twin Peaks (just to remind everyone how cool and different you are), and maybe there were even some Wednesdays where you used a looping video of the office from The Office, including real footage of Stanley napping behind you. Sure, in the beginning, you changed your funny Zoom background every day. It’s your bo-ring background in your Zoom meeting. It’s year three of this song and dance, you should be used to it by now, but something deep within you is itching (and it’s not the sweatpants you haven’t changed since the Jeopardy Tournament of Champions). You sprint from your post-morning coffee bathroom reckoning with your aging digestive system to your computer and remove the mouse from the “undetectable” mover you use to make sure your Slack doesn’t time out, and hop onto your next Zoom meeting of the day.

‍ Let’s, if we may, open with an all-too-real nightmare.

Funny zoom background